Everybody Loves (To Hate) Elissa

My Big Brother Defcon System..
My Big Brother Defcon System..

I did something Friday night I have never done in all the years of following Big Brother since it began in 2000.

In the late afternoon, I grabbed by Bank Of America handy dandy debit card and bought a month of the live feeds. If any of you out there have never watched the feeds, a simple suggestion:


Have you ever watched the movie Apocalypse Now? When you’re not watching the feeds, you’re Martin Sheen’s character, Ben Willard. When you are watching, you turn into Marlon Brando’s character, Colonel Kurtz. A few hours later, your face is covered in camo face paint, and you find yourself mumbling the same two words over and over: the horror, the horror.

What a cast we have this season! Some of you out there will find this cast unbearable, some of you will find the cast adorable. It is both a train wreck and a hot mess. But it is a cast carefully assembled to for one reason: to make Elissa Slater look as good as possible.  A control freak willing to cheat on her boyfriend inside the house here, an thirty-something housewife there, a pizza boy from somewhere else cast as the next Ian Terry, and suddenly Elissa looks much more presentable in comparison.

In another time in the annals of history, Elissa would be a human being who would only get anywhere by arranged marriages and/or deaths in the family that would place such a woman in a position of prominence by default. Everyone in that house despises Mrs. Slater.

But here’s the thing: half of the group wanted her gone yesterday. But the other half of the group wants to use Elissa to further their purposes and progress in the game, using her as a shield until Slater’s popularity runs out. The MVP vote and win for Elissa may or may not have been a setup to give her instant standing in the house she wouldn’t ordinarily have. If it were a setup, it was one with enough logic to pass as a legitimate event to the Big Brother fans worldwide following the live feeds on the social media.

So, if half the group doesn’t want Elissa gone just yet, someone else will have to exit the game Wednesday night.  Enter the follically unchallenged David Girton, the surfer dude who was caught Saturday afternoon changing shorts, apparently unaware that the cameras were recording every contour of his buttocks and privates for a few moments. David’s hobby in the house seems to be cavorting with the younger and more bossy Aaryn Gries, who spends countless moments brow beating the young lad and not allowing him to think for himself. David’s nomination was, naturally, done in secret by Elissa, who was the first MVP of the season.

The house goes on these cycles were they assemble in small groups and plot their treason every few hours or so. David appears to be the favorite to go at this time. If that takes place, Aaryn and Elissa will butt heads, probably leading to a more concerted effort to get Slater out in week two. But with three nominees to vote from, it won’t take much to redraw the battle lines once more. And even if Elissa should go, who is to say she will not come back into the game in a few weeks?  At this point of time, she is the star of the show, and I don’t think production will discard their investment without a fight of some kind on some level.

I feel they need Elissa around long enough to establish the other houseguests new to the public this season. Amanda Zuckerman, for example, is establishing herself as the next femme fatale in the lore of the series. “Handy Mandy” has gravitated to the throne of initial HOH McCrae Olson, the young pizza dude from Minnesota with a deep knowledge of the game. You would think Mr. Olson would have the smarts not to align with the Long Island born South Florida realtor with loads of street smarts and personal skills. But Zuckerman has two things going for her fanatical self: opposites attract anywhere, and some men think with their little heads as opposed to their big ones.

More in a couple of days. Right now, I gotta get back to eavesdropping on the house.


5 thoughts on “Everybody Loves (To Hate) Elissa

  1. I don’t know enough about Elissa to hate her. Just being Rachel’s sister is meaningless. Usually when one member of a family is a pain, the others are different. This is truly the most hateful cast I’ve ever seen on Big Brother. I’d love to see Evil Dick enter the house and rake their soulless bodies over the coals.

    1. I don’t hate Elissa at all. Don’t know her well enough to like or hate her. But why would the show stunt cast one person out of 16 unless they want to make her look good? Just not a practical thing to do.

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